UNINSPIRED...BLAH, BLAH BLAH

Yeah. That's about it . I mean will it get more interesting than blab, blah, blah? Hmmm...probably not. It took me a half minute to think of the last three words and one of them wasn't even a word. My thoughts are more interesting when I'm away from the computer and no paper or pen is at hand. Having a slight short term memory that has proven to be a problem when I try to recollect those fleeting moments. I now carry a small notebook and pen with me whenever I can. I love paper, pencils and pens. Someday I might buy a tablet but you can be assured that it will never replace my three amigos. Can you say technophobe, anyone? Don't even get me started. If I drop my pen and paper on concrete, I wont have to take them to be repaired or purchase a new one. Think about it. I know electronic items are more fun and often needed in this century, yada, yada, yada but there's a lot to be enjoyed doing it the old fashion way. Ebooks? Please!

First Post For 2013

A LITTLE TO  SAY ABOUT 2013. so far....

There's something to be said about writing in red.

Only three things come to mind.

Error, anger, injury.

Non of the above translate to what I'm writing

right now. I realized when I logged on tonight that

I had not written anything this year on any of my

blogs. Poetry or otherwise. Truth is I haven't had a lot

to say and inspiration is lacking. I could throw a pity

party but I'm pretty sure I would be the only guest.

I have hosted plenty of those and even I leave early.

Okay, 2013.

It is now March 20 and a quarter of the year is already

spent. I haven't picked up a paint brush to do any-

thing serious and I've only recently started writing

in a journal again. That has helped. I'm thinking again.

One major, major thing happen last year in 2012.

I lost another brother to an early and unforeseeable

death( to be discussed in a later blog).

On a lighter note. Someone at work asked me to 

do a portrait for them. I hope I get to follow through

on that. Tomorrow is the beginning of a three day

weekend and Sunday is Easter. I have no plans or

invitations but in our family you don't really need 

one. Just don't come empty handed to the table.

For this particular day, remember, it's not about the

bunny. It's about the Man.

God bless us all on this special day.

HAPPY EASTER!

CHANGES

CHANGES

Ever here the saying, "If it ain't broke don't fix it"? Well, hello!

Why are sites always making unnecessary changes ? For those
not in the know, I am a technophobe. I struggle every day to
rise above my fears of the cyber world and all that it employs.
The truth is I really want to learn all that I can about utilizing  the
functions of a computer. There is just so much to catch up on and
I'm not sure I can deal without folding. Talk about learning a
whole new language. I've been trying to learn Spanish since junior
high and I'm still trying to master the alphabet. I haven't given up

yet. Sooo...

TIME LAPSE

TIME LAPSE

2012, March 4. Right? It's so hard keeping up with this year.

Let's see. Two months back I finally scored a job working in a

day care. I had been looking to get back into this type of work

since my layoff in 2009. Unfortunately, it also brings with it the things I wanted to leave behind, like, childhood illnesses, unreasonable parents, unappreciative bosses, low pay grades, etc., etc.. But I love the kids. You make sacrifices. A lot of them. 

The idea of writing a children's book has cropped up again. Have I mentioned that before? No. Well, it's always been a plan of mine like going back to school. I have some new concepts on what I would like to write about. I have even come up with an idea for a new transition item for the toddler classroom. I have to research it to make sure no one else has already put it on the market. Yes, so as anyone can see, I too want to profit from a money making idea of my own like every other sentient being who's tired of living hand to mouth. There is no such thing as evil money. It's what you do with it and I want to spend, spend, spend! Oh, and I would also like to share with the less fortunate.   



It's A New Year, It's A New Day

Yes, it's a new year and a new day and I'm not going to

raise hell. I never do . Hmmm. Maybe I'll start a little something.

I know, I know. That just isn't my bag. I don't start trouble. I'm off

the radar of fun. I am in need of a doppleganger of who I can lay

all my bad on. Wouldn't that be cool? There is a bad girl in me who 

wants to get out and play. The good girl wants to play too. My sense 

of girl do goody is wound so tight I may as well be crapping jelly 

beans and gum drops. Yeah, right I'm just not that sweet. No one is.

I have a trash bin of dirty thoughts that needs deleted on a daily basis.

If I didn't live such an introverted existance, God knows what kind

of life I would be living at this moment. Surely one that was more ex-

citing than the one I'm living now because few things would hold me

back from living life the way it was meant to be lived. I have missed

a lot. A LOT! 

The N Word PART II

THE N WORD part II

Nigger: Language, History, and Modern Day Discourse by Kevin Cato wrt.intertext.syr.edu/XI/Nigger.html


A must read by my brown brothers and sisters who think it's okay to be called a nigger if  you share the same skin color.

THE N WORD PART I

     Given the trials and tribulations we have overcome as a people of color, why do we have this incessant need to  continue to call each other  the one word that has been used to strip us of our humanity throughout history? We use it as a badge of acknowledgement and friendship among each other as though it was an endowment of love and not a word used to denigrate, humiliate, and keep us shackled to a slave mentality that refuses to be exorcised and regulated to the pass where it belongs.  We call each other 'nigga' as easily as we say 'brotha' and embrace it as a word of friendship in greeting. If someone of a different racial heritage  dared to use this word among us we'd be ready to shed blood for the insult that it is. Sure, you may say that the word has a different meaning coming from someone else because they meant harm, but I'm telling you that every time the word is used by anyone then harm is always being done. When a black man first called his brother 'nigga'  it wasn't said to embrace him  in love, he used it to elevate himself  because he saw himself as better than the other man. 

....to be continued...  



NDUGUYO: Your friend/brother/comrade in Swahili

MAUMBU: Sisters/brothers in Swahili                      

NIGGER(slang): Extremely disparaging and offensive.

                              A person of any race or origin regarded

                               as contemptible, inferior, ignorant, etc.

1184: Beautiful Old Age | D.H. Lawrence

1184: Beautiful Old Age D.H. Lawrence: "'Beautiful Old Age'
D.H. Lawrence

It ought to be lovely to be old
to be full of the peace that comes of experience
and wrinkled ripe fulfillment.

The wrinkled smile of completeness that follows a life
lived undaunted and unsoured with accepted lies
they would ripen like apples, and be scented like pippins
in their old age.

Soothing, old people should be, like apples
when one is tired of love.
Fragrant like yellowing leaves, and dim with the soft
stillness and satisfaction of autumn.

And a girl should say:
It must be wonderful to live and grow old.
Look at my mother, how rich and still she is! -

And a young man should think: By Jove
my father has faced all weathers, but it’s been a life!"

                                                                                            

I'll be forty-seven on my next birthday and I can honestly say that I am not looking forward to being that much closer to fifty. I  am drawing nearer to that half century mark (sounds much worse when I say it this way) and I wish I had a do over. When I was a child I believed that by the age of forty I would be dead. Really, that's how I felt and when I actually pasted that mark of age I was surprised that life was still granted to me. I have come to realize that envisioning my death throughout my life has totally limited any aspirations I may have had for myself. I have nothing to show at life's departure that Yvonne was here. Others may beg to differ but I feel that I have walked this earth without leaving any footprints. I have not earned the gray hair on my head. It sprung up like measles when I was still a child and a lifetime of responsibilities were far from being envisioned. I have garnered no peace with growing old and I don't have a fallback plan. An expiration date still haunts me even now when I realize that I must form a plan of reinvention. The world's  circumstances dictate this coming change. I can no longer rely on past experiences to mark my spot in a place that doesn't recognize the non-descripted aged.

                               

  

HOLD YOUR FARTS! I'M BREATHING HERE!

Okay, I don't really know where I want to go with this title. I was at the library earlier today and I was having one of those silent gas bombardments in the art section. Good thing I had the aisle to myself. When ever words accumulate in my mind (brain fart) and they sound like they might be worth writing down, that's what I do. This seemed at the time to be a funny subject to blog about. I wasn't actually thinking about discussing poots. I was thinking more on the subject of being forced to listen to something you could really care less about and yet there is someone in your face who just will not let it go. They just keep stinking up the room with the same old farts and not allow it to dissipate and let you take a decent breath of fresh air. Sometimes you gotta know when to squeeze out a silent one and either pretend it didn't happen or walk away. Just in case you don't know, I'm using the fart commentary as a euphemism for useless conversation. Something like this blog posting. Can you smell it?         

GOD GAVE ME FREE WILL: SO, NO TAKE BACKS

Free will. Would you have it any other way?

You have choices to make. No one else dares to make them for you unless it’s your choice to allow them to do so. When we make what seems like the wrong decision and chaos ensues, we look for someone to blame. Our number one scapegoat? God, of course. When something bad happens (death, war, serious injuries, sickness, etceteras) we are quick to ask, ‘how could He allow this to happen’. ‘Why doesn’t He do something?’  Well, I say He did something during the Creation. He gave us the power to act for ourselves. There are tragedies in life. Accept them and you will be okay, maybe. God’s will, your will, life’s will. Sometimes when we are at our worst we are blessed with a true miracle. Sometimes we can be the engineers of someone else’s blessing. I won’t blame God when one doesn’t come my way. Okay, maybe for a brief second. I'm only human. I’ll just keep on praying and accept my limitations.            

                                   

NEMESIS: SHE WHO DOGS MY EVERY STEP

The one I can not escape
The one who takes my shape
The one who rapes my thoughts
The one who change has caught
In a rotted web

NOT YOUR GRANDMA'S CHICKEN ANYMORE!



I will pluck you up!

Add caption

                                                                Chicken happens to be one of America's favorite foods. It's a culinary delight that's very versatile in any cook's kitchen. I myself have been known to indulge in many tasty poultry cuisines and will undoubtedly do so again. One hears so many ugly stories about  chicken farming that could turn even the hardiest poultry connoisseur into a reluctant vegetarian. I would rather think of my food( before it made its way to my plate) as happy go lucky free rangers who never saw "it" coming. Bioengineering and force feeding? Grandma, where did we go wrong? But that's fodder for another story.

Cracking Up!

     Hey, anyone who enjoys a commercial for its comedic value should seriously check out the new Planter's Nut holiday advertisement with the Nut Cracker. The end result is hilariously shocking. It will "crack" you up! Pun intended. I enjoy a good commercial, especially when it's  really funny. I wish there was a thirty minute weekly depiction of the best of the best of past ads. I miss the Budweiser Frog Commercials. Fuunnny!

What's On My Mind/ I Forget

     Should you be firing on all cylinders when you reach a certain age? Let's say forty-something, for example. I'm not as quick in completing a thought as I use to be. I will be concentrating on one thing when my mind links to something else and the train goes off the rail on the previous synaptic connection. Don't get me wrong. I'm not senile. I think my brain takes a short leave of absence due to boredom. I eventually get back on track but who wants to continue on this train?

     And so the saga continues. Nothing much has changed over the past months except for my living status. I now rely on the kindness of others to keep a roof over my head. Yes, Yvonne has become a homeless waif. I cry for me. Even with all the past layoffs I never thought this economy would cast me on such a low rung in this life at my age. I always thought there would be a job waiting for me no matter how small the pay or the minimal hours. How wrong was I? Talk about feeling unwanted. I hear it's all about re-inventing yourself and giving new employers what they are asking for rather you feel suited to the task or not. Huh...reinventing myself is a viable option. I'm still a living, breathing, functioning, individual who can still get the job done. Whatever that job turns out to be. 
                                                                                                                                                              With nothing to do at this moment in my life but fill out applications and pray for the best outcome, I look in the mirror and see the old woman who constantly stares back and shakes her head in contemplative resignation. It's the graying hair that muddies the time line. I'm not really old, inside or out. Premature gray hair is a family trait. One I can do without and gladly so. Middle age. Middle of what? One and a hundred? No wander employers are ready to cast you aside for the 'quarter age'. We set the standard retirement age. I don't even know what that is. However, If you're the best at what you do then you're probably safe no matter how old you are. Am I still on track here or did my thoughts shift again?
                                                                November 29, 2011 

Life Is Not A Beotch

This being my first post , I will not cry, bite, sweat or bleed on you. Today. Since I'm all about the big shy I won't disclose any big bad personal secrets that can get a girl in trouble. Today I just want to say hello to all who may be scanning me on my virgin voyage. What's on my mind may or may not blow you away in future posts. You'll have to tune in to see. Just remember, God Loves A Sinful Man Too.